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Dirty minded with positive thoughts.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the sound I heard when I was 9 and my father slammed the front door so hard behind him I swear to god it shook the whole house. For the next 3 years I watched my mother break her teeth on vodka bottles. I think she stopped breathing when he left. I think part of her died. I think he took her heart with him when he walked out. Her chest is empty, just a shattered mess or cracked ribs and depression pills.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s all the blood in the sink. It’s the night that I spent 12 hours in the emergency room waiting to see if my sister was going to be okay, after the boy she loved, told her he didn’t love her anymore. It’s the crying, and the fluorescent lights, and white sneakers and pale faces and shaky breaths and blood. So much blood.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the time that I had to stay up for two days straight with my best friend while she cried and shrieked and threw up on my bedroom floor because her boyfriend fucked his ex. I swear to god she still has tear streaks stained onto her cheeks. I think when you love someone, it never really goes away.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the six weeks we had a substitute in English because our teacher was getting divorced and couldn’t handle getting out of bed. When she came back she was smiling. But her hands shook so hard when she held her coffee, you could see that something was broken inside. And sometimes when things break, you can’t fix them. Nothing ever goes back to how it was. I got an A in English that year. I think her head was always spinning too hard to read any essays.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s that I do.

hardcoregurlz:

elalawbffpro:

Time to reminding !!! Someone ask me if I ever was between over weight,like NORMAL Lol , yes I was everywhere hahaaaa all my life I was in pretty great shape ,cause from 16 years old my second home is gym, but there was a case when I thought I can screw the rules , and eat everything NON STOP, and my body can handle it! So I tried ! And the answer WAS NOOOOOO!!! After non controllable eating while I was pregnant even gym didn’t helped me!!! I gained 110 pounds for just 6 month and 10 more after pregnancy … To me I was the fucken agley person in the world ! Because my nature is TO BE PERFECT,TO BE THE BEST I CAN ,AND TO BE AN EXAMPLE!!! So I did , this is an example ,that you can’t let your brain play with your body. Lol SAY NO OVEREATING ,no matter your case is. 

Eleonora Dobrinina

hardcoregurlz:

elalawbffpro:

Time to reminding !!! Someone ask me if I ever was between over weight,like NORMAL Lol , yes I was everywhere hahaaaa all my life I was in pretty great shape ,cause from 16 years old my second home is gym, but there was a case when I thought I can screw the rules , and eat everything NON STOP, and my body can handle it! So I tried ! And the answer WAS NOOOOOO!!! After non controllable eating while I was pregnant even gym didn’t helped me!!! I gained 110 pounds for just 6 month and 10 more after pregnancy … To me I was the fucken agley person in the world ! Because my nature is TO BE PERFECT,TO BE THE BEST I CAN ,AND TO BE AN EXAMPLE!!! So I did , this is an example ,that you can’t let your brain play with your body. Lol SAY NO OVEREATING ,no matter your case is.

Eleonora Dobrinina

paradacsa-an:

jaceheromdale:

it sucks being the ugly quiet rude sarcastic emotionally unstable friend with the attention span of a goldfish

i’ve never read something so accurate

a-dur:

onefitmodel:

realising that we’re almost halfway through the year 2013 and i have literally achieved nothing 

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realising that you’re reading this almost halfway through 2014 and still haven’t achieved anything

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